Recent intellectual triumphs in Melbourne

[timothystevens]

So it's official! They don't listen to/understand/care about jazz either!

That's a weight off the old venetian blind.

[peterk]

Apr 29, 2008 16:06:04 GMT 10 isaacs said:

I left a politely scathing phone message for Jim and wrote him this email:

Subject: "article" on jazz in The Age

Dear Jim

I think it is a great shame that you are so destructive about people's life work and the genuine passions of many of your readers in your article re jazz in today's The Age.

If it was actually funny - a genuine lampoon - then that would be another thing.

Jazz - along with film - is the major artform to emerge in the last 100 years. Since you are not a genuine satirist, you simply read as an ignorant philistine.

Regards
Mark Isaacs

bloody good letter
he's the one who doesn't get it... it's not funny
if it was we'd be congratulating him too
what does the fact that the festival wrote him a letter thanking him for the piece say about them?

[aj]

The organisers THANKED him for that??

I know any publicity is said to be good publicity, but surely there are exceptions.

[aj]

So Jim read Mark's email, but couldn't forward it to the editor because his inbox is clogged? Yeah, right.

[isaacs]

More correspondence with Jim follows:

Sir,
there might be a letter in tomorrow's Age re the Jazz piece from the Jazz festival that you might find interesting. Don't keep you from sending it on to the Letters editor anyway.

Thank you again.

Yours

Jim Schembri
The Age

(PS - Surely "ignorant philistine" is a tautology? Who ever heard of a "well-informed philistine"? Good title for a book, though.)

Dear Jim

I don't think "ignorant philistine" is a tautology. A philistine is someone devoid of taste. A "well-informed philistine" as you propose would be one who has not acquired a taste for valued artefacts of culture even after seeking to engage with them. Still a philistine, but credit for trying. An ignorant philistine is one who has not even really tried.

By the way, I hasten to add that I said you read like an ignorant philistine. I don't say you actually are one - I wouldn't presume to say that, I don't know you personally and you sound like a reasonable bloke on email. Perhaps your writing in this instance does you no service.

Best regards
Mark

[andrewh]

I've actually seen an advance copy of the letter. It goes like this.

Dear Sir,

Your wise and witty columnist Jim Schembri is uncannily on the money in suggesting that the minimum one should expect to pay for a non-alcoholic beverage in a jazz club is $11.50. As proprietor of the best jazz club in all of the world's hemispheres except one, and somebody very important in the Melbourne International (formerly Italian) Jazz Festival, I am pleased to say that we shall be amending our prices forthwith. I also rush to reassure Mr Schembri that he can attend the majority of festival performances without any fear of hearing a note of "jazz".

Yours in swing,
Michael Tortoni

[timothystevens]

For what it's worth, I've written.

[gator]

Apr 29, 2008 17:40:40 GMT 10 aj said:

The organisers THANKED him for that??

I know any publicity is said to be good publicity, but surely there are exceptions.

One hopes that the letter of thanks had a hint of irony..

Its all about as a fresh as a fighting dogs ear.... glad Im at home with a SAC curry and a couple of beers..

[ironguts]

Jesus, I don't have word skills like you others, I'd like to write a letter but if I wrote " fuck you Jim you're a hideous piece of twisted shit that's got no idea at all, blow it out ya arse hole you dumb cunt" he might just take it the right way.

Oh, andrewh, love the advance copy, you must know someone on the inside?

[andrewh]

Actually the truth is always so much better than fiction. Here is the letter that Mr Schembri was trumpeting from "the Jazz festival". Proof, were it needed, that his ability not to get it is of Herculean proportions.


*****
Jazz and a small fish

THANKS, Jim Schembri, for your hilarious article on jazz ("Say no to jazz", theage.com.au, 29/4).

You have given us jazz musicians more publicity than we could pay for during our meagre-budget, volunteer-run but still well attended Melbourne Jazz Fringe Festival.

I'm sure the organisers of the Melbourne, Stonnington and Wangaratta jazz festivals are thrilled with your scarily accurate depictions of jazz musicians and their gigs; not to mention Tourism Victoria, the City of Melbourne and various other councils.

But where do you find time to learn so much about jazz, what with all the film and television reviewing and such? Perhaps you should have a chat to Jessica Nicholas (jazz reviewer for The Age) and she might be able to enlighten you as to the diversity and popularity of jazz forms in Melbourne (note: "free jazz" is but a small fish in a big ocean).

Now, I'm the first to laugh at my own expense, but next time you write an article over a long weekend, make it an informed joke or choose another occupation to deride.

Shannon Barnett, Melbourne Jazz Fringe Festival Committee, Northcote
*****


What an idiot you are, Jimbo. But at least you have finally provided some laughs.

[gator]

Nice one Shaggaz.

[timothystevens]

Apr 30, 2008 2:19:05 GMT 10 andrewh said:

What an idiot you are, Jimbo.

Evidently it's an intellect that can't but triumph.

[aj]

Good letter Shaggaz........maybe next time Jim can write a brilliant satire on journalists who live on a diet of junk food, junk TV and Hollywood blockbusters, and think that using American colloquialisms makes them hip.

[ironguts]

at least now I'm smiling.

[isaacs]

Apr 29, 2008 20:39:03 GMT 10 timothystevens said:

For what it's worth, I've written.

It's great that you wrote. Would you share what you said with all of us here Tim? I for one would be most interested.