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Post by march on Feb 9, 2006 21:38:40 GMT 10
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Post by ironguts on Feb 9, 2006 21:52:39 GMT 10
"Also, Miles Davis smothered poop in his hair to attract stray animals to sodomize, a hobby I disagree with"
This person has a great site, well spotted March, is that you Jane.
"everybody who likes jazz is stupid" excellent work.
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Post by ha ha on Feb 10, 2006 11:09:43 GMT 10
Q. What do "I Thought About You" and Bill Cosby have in common?
A. A whole lotta fuckin' around!
Q. What do "All Blues" and a Catholic-made condom have in common?
A. They both wear thin after the first minute!
Q. What do "Stella By Starlight" and the 1992 White Sox have in common?
A. A disappointing Sax performance!
Q. What do "All Of You" and Tom Cruise have in common?
A. If you encounter one of them, you're probably about to get a cavity filled!
Q. What do "My Funny Valentine" and Lindsay Lohan have in common?
Q. They both start off quite lovely before suddenly devolving into a depressing mixture of boring self-obsession and cocaine-fuelled ugliness!
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Post by Leigh on Feb 10, 2006 15:21:24 GMT 10
This is the greatest moment in Jazz criticism ever. Thank you Marc for this site! and I quote....
It feels like even the "melodies" this time are totally just made up crap thrown together on the spur of the moment. VERY loose constructions abound, usually with a tiny little "sax and trumpet together" bit at the beginning and end to make you think you're listening to actual songwriting. I'll tell you something about jazz. I suspect that some people are into it for its "free" "improvisational" nature, wherein you never know what's going to happen next. And I'll agree with that assessment - unlike formulaic pop/rock verse-chorus constructions, jazz allows the musicians to flow free and come up with any crazy thing their hearts desire. However -- did you ever notice that, no matter what direction they take a song in... it always ends up sounding EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER JAZZ SONG EVER RECORDED?!?!?!? "Hey check this out! I'm totally playing a bunch of notes over a piano playing some jazz chords and a bass player walking up and down his neck! Okay, I've done it for a couple of minutes -- now it's YOUR turn, person who plays a different type of horn!" With this kind of excitement, who needs tits?
Face it people, what's the point? Go listen to some Beethoven...
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Post by march on Feb 10, 2006 17:43:02 GMT 10
No worries Leigh, personally, Cookin' is my favorite
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Post by Leigh on Feb 10, 2006 22:00:10 GMT 10
Once more from the top!
With this kind of excitement, who needs tits?
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Post by Leigh on Feb 10, 2006 22:07:44 GMT 10
This one's for Johnny Mastropoulus
F**k jazz up the ass. What a worthless piece of shit form of musical expression. Anybody who claims to like it is lying and probably very unpopular and smelly.
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Post by johnnymastropaulos on Feb 11, 2006 2:18:57 GMT 10
Berko.. I fuck jazz up the ass every day AND I'm very unpopular and smelly.
so what?
dwee-dop
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Post by ironguts on Feb 11, 2006 8:12:54 GMT 10
hey Johnny, you're popular with me even if you smell.
Just how do you fuck jazz up the arse though?
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Post by Leigh on Feb 11, 2006 13:52:31 GMT 10
Well, you call Wynton obviously. Mind you, he has a hell of a reputation with the ladies so you may have to get him really drunk. Which shouldn't be difficult because he's a seppo.
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Post by johnnymastropaulos on Feb 12, 2006 15:09:28 GMT 10
leigh makes an excellent point. about wynton being a seppo.
Irons, it is easy to fuck jazz up the arse, as there are a lot of opportunites for penetration, as everyone in the jazz community is an arsehole.
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Post by Uranus on Feb 12, 2006 15:31:30 GMT 10
the joys of anal sex
hmmm......
yes
playing
take it slow
careful
to start with
erotic sexy taboo
those nerve ends
well cared for are a
gift from god
so
dont disrepsect
the anus
by comparing it to
jazz musicians
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Post by Scrota on Feb 14, 2006 0:41:21 GMT 10
I'm just writing this message so that this thread gets to the top of the pile.
The above poem... Wow.
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